I wanna be your Superman !

Story of a Boy . . .

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Hmm.can it be possible that life isnt long to live? is it possible that you can be sooo pushed away and soo let down that you know longer wish you were one of this kind? can it all happen to one person to live with such strikes of leser knowledge to let them down.

- Story of a Boy,

Hi, My names Raniel Ross Catahan, i'm 16 and lucky to have what I got , but i'm not so lucky to be who i am, im not lucky to get pushed around, not to feel loved.I've felt being loved once, once that it never left me, enough that would make any human want to live his life.But I, no i feel pain,not just from my surroundings, but my loved ones.Can it be that i'm doing wrong? or is it that fact that i no longer make an impact on their lives?As much as i want to live a life of love, respect and loyalty i also want to live the life of wreck,terror, and hate.My parents are from the philippines and are both very respectful and loving people.I also have a very beautiful and loving girlfriend aswell,one that would love no other to the end of her life.I also have great friends that have my back, and very few haters.

I'm 16, and being this age is great, you have so much more availabilities that you can do so much, you can drive, you can go out, you can do alot but with all of this, it comes with much more responsibilities.I had a job, once..it was fun when i was there. and so far it wasnt that great when i couldnt celebrate my birthday.So i quit my job.But well enough my Loving,Loyal girlfriend cared for me and gave me a great birthday to celebrate.Thank You Baby.ILove You.

My family,a father filled with the most out most respect for his family. Can care for one at his expense.Hes had Surgeries and difficultes but hes still there.My mother is a well spoken women, shes the only one who knew what is going on with my life, she was my only family member that would take me in and love me.

My girlfriend,Laureta Ann Capistrano Fallorina,the love of my life, the one and best quote that i have never forgotten " You two are highschool sweethearts!" what such words effected me throughout my best days with her and still will. I Love You soo much Laureta, and i will and always love you.Till the day i die, i shall never let go of you. im proud to be your boyfriend, im proud to be the only one that you love.

Now,that sums up what i have,but does it make me feel loved?Is life to less to live for ? I probabyl just got the worst time to feel like a loser,i try my best for everything, i try my all to keep up my good work at school, i got an average of 70 last semester and compared to last year, its greater then ever, my mark last year was only about 50.What a HUGE gap.i'm proud of myself, and so is my girlfriend, but not my parents..whys this? i try soo hard to get a good mark , that i get a 70 and there not proud of me.. especially my mom.Mom i love you soo much and i thank you for giving me life, and when you told me that you have a choice when i was a baby coming out of you, you told me that it was either death to me or you.luckily that we both got life that day.or dad would have been very very sad.Lucky to be alive and lucky to have such wonderful parents. Over simple act of a mistaken school teacher do i get the worst lecture and Nag from my mom.Telling me such Wonderful quotes that would make any young boy want to Hatch out of there egg and Leave. " I wish i never gave birth to you " , " Pack Your things and Leave tommorrow", so i did, i took my stuff and i packed, i took my possessions what i baught with my own money, and i stored it in a bag. It was My Plan, My plan too leave, it hurted so much, that a part of me fell apart, but luckily my girlfriend was their to support me, to give me strength when I'm at my weakest. She told me that everything will be alright.

. . . BLEH this is BORING.. new post [=

continuation . . .

Your My Light in the Dark.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Well hun, i dont know if you even use this no more, but i wanna keep writing on this.. cause i read all of dem old things. and its sooo much, . like what happened? all from coming after this 3 week away from each other, changed both me and you. but i can say.. and u cant be saying that You have changed more then the other. but its life.. yenno? i just want you back again. and it looks like i gotta try more again. i gotta do the thing the thing that i had wanted soo much before,, it was soo perfect no arguing no nothing, but i cant do it without you.but ever since u came back... after these few weeks that you did. its been soo shit. sorry but it was.. like all those things you did, well first off, im thankful for my birthday that baby gave me, i thought baby was finally there with me. the way we use to be the no arguing part..hmmm then it came back.. do you still miss this asshole? do u ? like it hurts soo much that you would back stab your boyfriend while im not even here... that you would go back to him.. just w hy.. out of all those things we had together and all that shit that happened to us because of him, and you went back.. gawd what a messed up world...hmm BUT i know baby, i guess you were use to not having your boyfriend for 2 weeks at pinas. that life was happy. but isnt it happy with me more? i dont know what im talking about . but it rushes you. and i dont want any bad things to happen and stuff i just want my girlfriend back. the one that i had before she left, you said that nothing would change between us but it did. and hun started with the friendster and took most of her time with that instead of blogger that i use to read that everysingle post it was something that had to do with me. and "i love you" and now where did all those posts go ? you spent all your time on friendster.. like Where the heck did friendster come from...-.-'' awell its life. our life. but out of all of that i hope that we are all back together, spending more time with each other, spending most of it with each other and alot more of us.. like we had.. i just can stop thinking that another thing is gonna happen . then another big ass argument is gonna accure, but i wont let that happen .so you already know, since you came back i went back to the one account that kept everyone away from me. i didnt do anything unless it was for you. and that was all. i was back. but you werent... hmmm sorry baby. its all you said.. then prove to me that you wont do something bad that you dont gotta say sorry, i dont want you to say sorry i want you to do the good thing that doesnt have to make you say sorry, its all i ask. be the one that i had. be the Laureta i knew, the one before you went to pinas..but soon enough i'm gonna suffer cause one cant take to do all of these things. but its soo easy, self discipline is all you need. ...

well baby you know your the only one that i go to .. and that i cant even go to my parents because they like dont even want me born, and you know it my mom said it , and my dad is sick and tired of me.. that they would rather be happier living without a child. so im basically nothing to them, and they hate the things i do, they hate the things i say, and my life. they just dont want me... and where do i go? when a family is the most important thing in your life, its your foundation, your only thing that you go to because they always have your back, but i doubt i have that anymore, lucky enough for you , you have a family that loves you and would want the best for you,but i dont even know if i do.. thats why your all i have.. and when the only thing i have is like doubting herself. and doing all these bad things.. gawd where else do i go ? no where. i'm nothing.. and your all i have.. your the only person in my life, that understands me then anyone else, the only one that would still hold me even when im at the worst point in my life, your the only one that could keep my head up. and im the only one.. that can have you..and i just need you. then please.. do it for me.. stop being this girl that does bad, the one that does these wrongs,, cause your all that i have.. =[... please baby. i need you more then life, cause you are my life your the only thing i have left. and you know that i cant imagine how i would live without you.. cause if i lose you. i lose everything i have.. baby.. please dont be this girl no more.. be my girl, be the one. that i can only go to .. =[.. baby i love you soo much.

All For You. All for me Tooo (:

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Whats going on? whats happening? Everything is. from my world to yours, keeping it together tryna make it one world.. its hard. but were almost there. just more time and it'll be together.. i cant stop trying for you.. and for all the times i was upset at you for doing anything wrong, dont worry about it.. its just meh. i love you hun. some times were good and sometimes were not.

and these few times we've been not.. whys it soo hard... im trying so hard for you hun.. i just cant stop loving you... how much we do for each other. hold on bay. ima continue on this.

Fwore Daie Weak Ehnd [4DayWeekEnd]

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Finally hun the 4 day week end. im glad to say welcome back from the phillipines,your finally home! YAY we can spend all the time together now..LOVE YOU ... so first off a well created thursday,i went to Babies Home and finally saw everyone :D Welcome Back Tita, Ra,Kim,Jaja hope you guys had fun. and when i got there IT WAS BLACK OUT! like BLACK lmfao well we had to walk up the stairs and hun got tired.. cause obviously im too good and too fit.and so once we got upstairs. what happened? we had to go back out to get the food [pizzapizza] cause there was no electricity.gosh soo cold outside and and then we had to walk up the stairs again BUT luckily there was sum1 there to turn on the elevator.

UH OH NOOO. she found out im writing on this.. i gotta create a diversion...well im gonna pretend not to.. so im gonna write on HER blogger. ":D

ME WRITE LATER! :D

Back!, I Love you baby and i miss you. okay so where were weee?well blem blem can we just go to valentines day! .. OTAY! VALENTINES DAY well i took baby out to Moxies at Yorkdale reserved on wednesday for advance placement, surprise to my baby because she found out some how LMFAO.. well yes hun. i braught her to Moxie's ; picked her up at her place, went down to yorkdale and went straight to moxies, YUM good food. baby had chicken strips and fries, while your big boy had a good salmon on noodles with tomatoes and garlic bread.Good Good. then to top that we had white chocolate brownie Hehe. Deeelicious! LOve You Baby! Happy Valentines day.. and and and WHERES MY GIFT? LMFAO keeding its okay hun.oh wait i almost forgot what happened friday Bwuahaha.well everyone had a p.a. day and a good day for my hun to come over.. BUT she had to clean house so CLEAN , CLEAN till i see a reflection in the carpet LMFAO.. well after hun finished cleaning.. what was this.. she wasnt alowed to go out? WHAT! i was cheesed. why couldnt she come out.. well lets see hmm her sister was whining GOSH...like one whole day with baby. one day that we could really catch up for the 3 weeks we werent together.. and NOPE ...she didnt come.. BUT luckily for me.. im not a dick or an asshole.. so i went to her.. you know guys.. when your girl doesnt call, go out, or reach to you.. DO IT.. You Call, You Go out, You Reach to her.. cause For all the Love in the world, you will never find another girl like the one you have right now..i love my wiffey so much i'd die for her.. and baby im sorry for the past days making you think that i was making fun of you.. i didnt understand what i was saying until you resited it to me.. sorry baby. so guys do it for her.. be a gentleman cause there are barely any more of us..So to continue.. off with the next day.. Thank You Baby for being in my life and for being there until now.. forever will we be together. i love you. and happy valentines again.

Here it Comes.. Sunday.. what did i do sunday.OH YEAH.. i was with fam while baby was at home finishing homework.. sorry hun.. but i wanted to get you somthing so i did! ..okay so i went to buffalo with my rents.. and i was EXTREMELY TIRED because my hun and i was talking on the phone.. and it was really rough.. i dunno what we got through and what did get through.. it was a very rough night.. what two people can say in less then 6 hours.. well it was proper, any momment i spend with my baby i cherish, no matter what momment it is.. if shes screaming at me.. i'll cherish it, becaue i'll know that i was doing something wrong and i wont do it again.. LOL so states..went to military road. and ended up buying new jeans,2 shirts - nike sb shirt and a light green shirt, also got speakers for my ipod, and a good hunt for my babies hat, to match her bape shoes.. YUM also on a hunt for my matching fitted and shoes. .but didnt get the right size.well so instead i got my baby her hat.. LUCKY BABY ..Love you.. alrite.. coming home.. was HELL i had a mean headache felt like iwas getting beat by the side of the head with a sledge hammer, and i was vommiting and i was SOO HUNGRY, but i couldnt eat.. god..cause of my head ache. so i told my mom to wake me up at 10:00pm because i needed rest, and because i wanted to call my baby because the next day would have been MY BIRTHDAY AND OUR EIGHT MONTHS!.. so you know what sucked? MY mom didnt wake me up.. FAG! i missed it . i missed my hun on the phone,, everything . and what was worse.. she was on the computer..OH MAN the computer. what joy and what PAIN a computer can bring..well she was up until 5 am you know why? well first her dad asked her what she was doing on the computer at that time.. and she said talking to "rowel" PSHH. and he let her? WTF... GAY ASS BICH NIGGA FUUU! GET THE BOMBACLUT AWAY FROM MY WIFE!...[sorry, i didnt mean one word to rowel except get the bombaclut away from my wife] LOL Love You baby. and My Birthday the very next day.. THnx baby. i love you.. did you know that? Well i did, i always did every since we met each other.. and until i die, i will always love you.!

Why Cry. . .

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Welcome Home hun, how i miss you so. and now your back i wish it could all come back.. our love and all . but you know nothing has changed.. our love will only get stronger..it'll take time.. but it will. if we both do our part.
so 2daii on a wednesday of jan.11 - 09. I fucking cry.
shit happens.. when you miss someone for 3 fucking weeks.. you just want to be there. to talk to them but you cant cause they aint there.. for 3 fucking weeks i suffered missing you so dam much. and you were happy . cause u had the fun.. i kept thinking does she miss me.. she should cause i shure do.. and every day i wouldnt sleep noting that you werent home yet and i didnt get to say i love you.. You KNow how fucking hard it is to not say i love you to the one you love the most and that left you for 3 weeks alone fucking DIEING!? i cried 2daii because i missed you.. andi doubt you missed me once bit for the last 2 wweeks of the 3.. you prolly enjoyed every momment without me..and since you came home.. i wanted to hear you say something. telling me how much you miss me and stuff. but naw.. nothing.. there were just litting things.. oh i miss you. but how much? did you? every single day ? enough to make me happy to come back into my arms and tell me you love me? NOTHING it hurt like FUCK.. like shit going through your fucking heart. you were back and i wanted to make you happy i was soo happy cause you were back and NOTHING.. we argued cause of shit that happened.. shit that I WAS MAKING FOR YOU.. I WAS DOING SOO FUCKING MUCH TO MAKE ME HAPPY but especially MAKE YOU HAPPY and you took it like garbage from my mouth.. just through it away.. you dint care how much i missed you dint care how much i needed you.. i wanted to be there for you. but it felt like pain pain that you didnt care... i planned so much when you got back.. to take you out to valentines.. on a special day..but naw. you just consider it like any other day.. do you ever cound how much a day like is? i planned before you left that i would make you happy. and prove you wrong that i would actually do sumthing for valentines.. but NAW i wanted to surprise you. take you to moxies, buy you the biggest plush toy you could sleep with and No. u wanted to know everything..and it was all i wanted to do make you happy. and you wouldnt even tell me what you were about to tell me last night.. screwming me over. i thought it could be a million things.. god.. how much pain i went through . during those 3 weeks and you FELT NOTHING.. like i wasnt THERE! for the first fucking time.. i FELT LIKE I WAS NOTHING! cause you would joke around about going to filinpines without me.. and shit LIKE dont you im here.. dont you know i have feelings.. it hurts. liek fucking shit.. going through your heart.. and ALL FOR NOTHING!.. fucking hell.. could make a guy GO SUICIDE!.. but not me.. i kept going . i kept getting back cause i knew this was all wrong, and that this was just a phase cause shes back shes just missing filipines and im just someone she has to adjust to again.. it was all my fault.. ALL MY FAULT FOR PUTTING MYSELF IN THIS WAY.. so why should i blame my own wiffey? I shouldnt! i should never. and im not.. im blaming it on my self.. for doing this FUCKIGN HELL to myself.. im the problem.. and the cause of all shit that happens to me.. dont i ever get a chance to breathe.. i just want to know IF YOU MISSED ME.. did you? cause IT NEVER CAME ACROSS YOU.. did it? did you once think probably did but did you ever take consideration that I NEEDED YOU MORE THEN EVER because you had left!? I WAS DYING........
im sorry for the way ive been treating you.. and i'll make it up..but i had to take out this emotion..the pain every single day that you werent here. and the fear that it wouldnt be the same when you came back.. im sorry hun. and i love you soo much.. if only i can say this but i would understand it would make another argument.. so i'll settle it down.. love you baby.