Welcome Home hun, how i miss you so. and now your back i wish it could all come back.. our love and all . but you know nothing has changed.. our love will only get stronger..it'll take time.. but it will. if we both do our part.
so 2daii on a wednesday of jan.11 - 09. I fucking cry.
shit happens.. when you miss someone for 3 fucking weeks.. you just want to be there. to talk to them but you cant cause they aint there.. for 3 fucking weeks i suffered missing you so dam much. and you were happy . cause u had the fun.. i kept thinking does she miss me.. she should cause i shure do.. and every day i wouldnt sleep noting that you werent home yet and i didnt get to say i love you.. You KNow how fucking hard it is to not say i love you to the one you love the most and that left you for 3 weeks alone fucking DIEING!? i cried 2daii because i missed you.. andi doubt you missed me once bit for the last 2 wweeks of the 3.. you prolly enjoyed every momment without me..and since you came home.. i wanted to hear you say something. telling me how much you miss me and stuff. but naw.. nothing.. there were just litting things.. oh i miss you. but how much? did you? every single day ? enough to make me happy to come back into my arms and tell me you love me? NOTHING it hurt like FUCK.. like shit going through your fucking heart. you were back and i wanted to make you happy i was soo happy cause you were back and NOTHING.. we argued cause of shit that happened.. shit that I WAS MAKING FOR YOU.. I WAS DOING SOO FUCKING MUCH TO MAKE ME HAPPY but especially MAKE YOU HAPPY and you took it like garbage from my mouth.. just through it away.. you dint care how much i missed you dint care how much i needed you.. i wanted to be there for you. but it felt like pain pain that you didnt care... i planned so much when you got back.. to take you out to valentines.. on a special day..but naw. you just consider it like any other day.. do you ever cound how much a day like is? i planned before you left that i would make you happy. and prove you wrong that i would actually do sumthing for valentines.. but NAW i wanted to surprise you. take you to moxies, buy you the biggest plush toy you could sleep with and No. u wanted to know everything..and it was all i wanted to do make you happy. and you wouldnt even tell me what you were about to tell me last night.. screwming me over. i thought it could be a million things.. god.. how much pain i went through . during those 3 weeks and you FELT NOTHING.. like i wasnt THERE! for the first fucking time.. i FELT LIKE I WAS NOTHING! cause you would joke around about going to filinpines without me.. and shit LIKE dont you im here.. dont you know i have feelings.. it hurts. liek fucking shit.. going through your heart.. and ALL FOR NOTHING!.. fucking hell.. could make a guy GO SUICIDE!.. but not me.. i kept going . i kept getting back cause i knew this was all wrong, and that this was just a phase cause shes back shes just missing filipines and im just someone she has to adjust to again.. it was all my fault.. ALL MY FAULT FOR PUTTING MYSELF IN THIS WAY.. so why should i blame my own wiffey? I shouldnt! i should never. and im not.. im blaming it on my self.. for doing this FUCKIGN HELL to myself.. im the problem.. and the cause of all shit that happens to me.. dont i ever get a chance to breathe.. i just want to know IF YOU MISSED ME.. did you? cause IT NEVER CAME ACROSS YOU.. did it? did you once think probably did but did you ever take consideration that I NEEDED YOU MORE THEN EVER because you had left!? I WAS DYING........
im sorry for the way ive been treating you.. and i'll make it up..but i had to take out this emotion..the pain every single day that you werent here. and the fear that it wouldnt be the same when you came back.. im sorry hun. and i love you soo much.. if only i can say this but i would understand it would make another argument.. so i'll settle it down.. love you baby.